1 Excuse, 2 excuse, 3 excuse, 4 excuse... when will it stop? You and I both know... this man is no good for you...
Who gave him the right to dictate the relationship? Relationships are like teams and YES the man should be the leader and the point guard, but that doesn't mean he's the center, shooting guard, coach and all the other things...
to turn the tables you leave and let him know that you're not accepting that treatment... it'll only get worse over time if you stay... but don't take my word for it. Find out for yourself if that's what it takes... I'm just trying to help you out of a situation that doesn't sound good.
You're beautiful... God made you... love yourself a lil' bit more!Boyfriend is controlling. Always about having the upper hand. Why?
try taking control in a way that he would like: sex. be the one to make the first move and keep on doing it until he gives in. and while ya'll are having sex try to be the dominate partner for a little while, be aggressive. once he's gotten use to you doing this move on to the daily issues, like you make the next date plans, and if he wants to change it don't give in, tell him that that's the only time you have to meet up with him or something. just keep in mind that he's not going to change over night and keep to your guns.
Well,He either wants you to take the upper hand(some guys dig a woman with a little power) Or he's a control freak. If he's the latter,find someone else. This will continue till you break the chain.
then find someone you can be equal with. you get treated the way you allow others to treat you.
The question is not ';why.'; The question is what you're going to do. Obsessive control is the first sign of an abuser. You say he's not violent--yet. But controllers often tend to become violent over time. Don't get into some weird dynamic of trying to ';turn the tables'; with this type. Info on DV below:
Spousal abuse and battery are used for one purpose: to gain and maintain total control over the victim. In addition to physical violence, abusers use the following tactics to exert power over their wives or partners:
Dominance 鈥?Abusive individuals need to feel in charge of the relationship. They will make decisions for you and the family, tell you what to do, and expect you to obey without question. Your abuser may treat you like a servant, child, or even as his possession.
Humiliation 鈥?An abuser will do everything he can to make you feel bad about yourself, or defective in some way. After all, if you believe you're worthless and that no one else will want you, you're less likely to leave. Insults, name-calling, shaming, and public put-downs are all weapons of abuse designed to erode your self-esteem and make you feel powerless.
Isolation 鈥?In order to increase your dependence on him, an abusive partner will cut you off from the outside world. He may keep you from seeing family or friends, or even prevent you from going to work or school. You may have to ask permission to do anything, go anywhere, or see anyone. Source: Domestic Abuse Intervention Project, MN
Threats 鈥?Abusers commonly use threats to keep their victims from leaving or to scare them into dropping charges. Your abuser may threaten to hurt or kill you, your children, other family members, or even pets. He may also threaten to commit suicide, file false charges against you, or report you to child services.
Intimidation 鈥?Your abuser may use a variety of intimation tactics designed to scare you into submission. Such tactics include making threatening looks or gestures, smashing things in front of you, destroying property, hurting your pets, or putting weapons on display. The clear message is that if you don't obey, there will be violent consequences.
Denial and blame 鈥?Abusers are very good at making excuses for the inexcusable. They will blame their abusive and violent behavior on a bad childhood, a bad day, and even on the victims of their abuse. Your abuser may minimize the abuse or deny that it occurred. He will commonly shift the responsibility onto you: Somehow, his violence and abuse is your fault.
~~~He intimidates you girl, Don't feel burnable with him, be you the strong women you are, you should be treated as a princess, and regardless if his abusive or not don't let him take yoUr peace of Ur mind, gosh if ur not happy move on let him go let him know Ur not his toy or Little sister he can argue with when he feels like it~~~~
His demanding and controlling tendencies are driving you nuts, he does it because he has no reason not to do it. It works for him, so why should he stop? Besides, he probably doesn't think he's at all controlling. He probably thinks he is protecting you.
He has not learned how to make decisions that take your feelings into account and that makes you feel miserable. He gets his way, but at the expense of your love for him.
Teach him how to discuss conflicts with you without being controlling, and it will teach him how to make you happy.
It will be done without the threat of you leaving him. Instead, he will be involved with you in your development, not as a controlling boyfriend, but as an interested lover.
Book by Dr. Willard Harley: Fall In Love, Stay In Love
The need for control comes from severe insecurity. He may also be self centered so he wants everything to go his way; no compromise. My best suggestion is to think about being on your own for awhile without a man. Then when you know who you are and what YOU want, you won't pick a controlling man as your love interest.
Ok.he will continue to be this way becuz u allow it.Relationships should be mutual..and u should tell him that your opinions and decisions are also important..so next time he makes a decision u should make another suggestions and u guys should meet halfway on it:)
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