Saturday, August 7, 2010

My 2 year old daughter is very smart and out of control, we do not spank unless it's a small tap on the hand ?

how can we get her to listen? she knows right from wrong, we praise her when she does the right thing. I find myself yelling and telling her no and stop it all day. I want to enjoy being a mother not mommy dearest. She just turned 2 aug. 30 2008 she knows how to count to 20 and her abc's, also know's all of her shapes, colors and how to spell STOP and she can sing twinkle little star, jesus loves me, happy birthday and more (the whole song people) she learns so quick when it comes to learning why can't she learn no means no and not to do bad things????HELP MEMy 2 year old daughter is very smart and out of control, we do not spank unless it's a small tap on the hand ?
There is nothing wrong with giving her a good spanking. If what you are doing doesn't work you have to try something new. Try putting her nose in a corner for 3 to 5 minutes. If that doesn't work - pull her pants down and spank her with a few hard firm slaps. Then put her back in the corner.





I believe in treating kids, even toddlers, like they are human with opinions that MATTER yet still treat them like children. My daughter is the same way that you describe yours. I spank and use time out and also when she is throwing a tantrum I hold her tight and tell her how much I love her and that it's ok until she stops kicking and screaming. They hate that lol (sometimes I have to keep myself from smiling). Take some time to write out a disciplinary list of things to do when she is acting up and another punishment list for things that she does when she knows better. Stick to it. If you find that after a few weeks of doing the same things (you have to give it a good run and not try one thing only once) change it up and find other ways to do it.My 2 year old daughter is very smart and out of control, we do not spank unless it's a small tap on the hand ?
Well I wasn't allowed to rate one of these answers because I just began so I'll comment here :)


The Shellyly... answer that talks about giving your toddler control of their own little ';world'; is genius! This is like magic with my 2 and 1/4 yr old.

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Give her one warning, if you do this you will get this (consequence). When she doesn't listen, do the consequence. If you don't spank, you have to set up other consequences to train her. This is why parents do spank. It is a quick consequence, doesn't hurt the child, and it gives them the message that their behavior is not acceptable.
She is ';very smart';


She is ';out of control';.





Usually that indicates she is bored. Let her watch some good travelogues on television or get her some good books from the library ... she should be able to put in time reading them.


.


Or stop ';yelling and telling her no and stop it all day';. Find ways for her to entertain herself; things like that.


.
I have a 3 year old that's been out of control for like 2 1/2 years. He is a little terror. (I don't do this -sham on me) but learning from supernanny, I would put her in time-out for 2 minutes everytime she doesn't listen after the1st warning. She'll get the hang of it. (she IS very smart btw, good job) :)
She is two and she is testing you! Terrible twos, this too shall pass...It is a stage, she will grow out of when she realizes you are boss. She is very smart and this is a power struggle to see what she can get away with and how frazzled she can make you. Stay calm, don't yell, take things away when she is bad and use time out.
Time out, baby! It works like a charm for me. There's this little section of hallway in our house, that I block off with a baby gate. I put a little stool in there, and my son has to go in there until he stops crying. Works every time. I get him out of there (it never takes him more than about 2 minutes to stop crying) and he is so careful for the next hour!
toddlers are hard to control.





you need to learn what is a big deal and what is not. if you are yelling all day, you must really be picking on her. relax a bit, and when saying no, make sure you mean it and if she doesn't stop, do a punishment and stick with it.



You have the finances and you are bigger.





Try watching Nanny911 on television, if you can find the program.


I know that is on Direct TV. They show a whole range of out of control families and how to control it.



ok breath. sounds like your doing an excellent job. i know what its like i have a 3 and 4 yr old try to pick and choose your battles. meaning, before you stress your self thin i would just distract her as much as possible. Its not so much that she is trying to push all your buttons toddlers are just curious by nature. However you must remain calm at all times. Show her your in control, or she will sense that you are getting upset and she will keep on doing what ever it is she is not suppose to. If she is in danger of hurting her self or you cant seem to distract her i would tell her ';o.k time out'; put her in a safe room prob. her own room and let her stay in there for a couple minutes. It will do no good to keep yelling at her because you can over use the word ';No'; and she will begin to tune it out. Its o.k Good luck %26lt;3 hugs You will get past this just remember one day at a time and enjoy your angel!
welcome to motherhood!!!! they don't call them terrible two's for nothing.





stay strong you dearest of all mothers. you gonna' yell a whole lot more and it's okay. might i recommend you read dr jerome dobson's parenting series especially the strong willed child. my middle child is still alive today with her own daughter who will be 3 in a few days and she's just like her mother heh heh heh! because of this book.





she is testing you to see if you and your rules deserve her respect show her they do.
She is just being a normal two year old. My first son was worse. My second son turned two in Aug too. he is saying no to everything. Seems to me, he needs more attention when he says no. Maybe you could hug her when she misbehaves and that might calm both of you down. My sons are smart too. Kids nowadays are just too smart for their parents' own good. And girls are supposed to be advanced so I would say she is doing good and right at where she should be.





My first son does not like too much noise or anything that bothers his seven senses so maybe you can control the surroundings and see how she does.





And waht works for me is to have a massage time. I put my three boys on the floor and just touch their back or give them light strokes on their back and hair. They love it. And seems like they behave better when they know that I love them.





Another thing is you can try to stop saying no and suggest doing something else. Like Let's do this, instead, or You know what we could do instead of hitting or whatever she is going wrong. The more you say no to her, the more she learns the word,,, NO and how it works too. She knows what No means. so she is telling you No. You should be able to outsmart her by suggesting to do something funner to do.





Well, good luck.
My daughter is the same way. She can even spell her name and a few other things too. The way that I deal with it is. When I have told her no for about the 5th time. I will get down to where I am face to face with her and tell her that she knows that she can not do that and she needs to stop or I am going to put her in the corner and let her think about what is she being told not to do. If she keeps it up I will pop her on the leg not hard but hard enough to know that I mean to stop. She gets mad and runs off crying and I will not give in to her. She is so head strong it is unreal. you have to have a lot of patients. I tell my daughter all the time that I don't want to make her mad or hurt her feelings, but sometimes she has to listen to what I have to say. Give it time. Good Luck
Oh my God, I feel your pain!! My daughter is the same way.......she was 2 in April and is right up there on the intellectual level. The counting to 20, alphabet, songs.....she does all that. and the smarter they are, the more they can get into!! She took my glass of sprite and tried to drink and spilled some and I took it back....she said ';mommy, I want sprite'; and I told her no, because she spilled it......she looked right at me and said ';then put it in my sippy cup!';......i about died! This is what I deal with.......it is like having a tiny 6 year old in the house!!





What I do is give her as much ';power'; as she can in her own world......she chooses ALL her own clothes. I take her to the store and show her the options (sale racks, etc) and she picks what she wants. I let her pick between 2 or three outfits each day, she wears what she picks. To this day she will not wear jeans. No idea why but she never picks them and if someone gives her a pair, she will not put them on. she has to have her hair pulled up (growing it out) but she chooses the color of her hair things, 1 pony or 2. She picks what soap in the tub (have 2 different scents) and what lotion she wants. She chooses her jammies. and what she wants to take to bed each night. by giving her every simple choice that she is able to make, she feels less of a power struggle with her life.


By evening (I work days) I let her be involved as much as she can. When I make dinner she plays in the kitchen or ';helps'; with the safe stuff. I spend as much time with her after dinner as I can giving her my undivided attention. Reading books or playing games. I keep her as independent as she chooses to be.....We have a shelf down low in my kitchen with some healthy snacks and toddler dishes that she can tell me when she is hungry and what she wants.





And I give in to any of the quirks that I know cannot be changed.....for instance she hates hot food. she wants everything room temp....why fight her on this one? Meal time is SO much easier if I give her room temp food. and she wants a fork and a spoon with every single meal so she always has a choice. So I give her both, no matter what she is eating. If you anticipate her needs/preferences, you spend less time with small battles.





Dealing with a gifted 2year old is 10 times worse then dealing with a 2 year old........even her pediatrician laughs at some of the things she says/does.....just find the balance: you have to realize that she is ahead of your average 2 year old so make sure those intellectual needs are being met......and she is still 2 so make sure THOSE needs are being met too!. Good luck!!!
Whatever you chose as discipline must be consistent (so whoever else is around her, ei. her daddy, grandparents, etc. should respect and comply with your boundaries). My son is 3 and he is also very advanced academically but has his moments of rebellion, just like any other toddler.





We use these steps. We must use a calm voice because if you show tension and aggression in your voice, they will think it's alright to address their anger by raising voices.... and you don't want your toddler to yell at you!





1. Infraction


2. In a calm voice, tell them ';no';


3. 2nd warning


4. 3rd warning


5. Thinking step/chair/corner (1 minute per year-old they are... so for your little one.... 2 minutes) *the purpose of the ';thinking chair'; is for them to think about their bad choices*


After the time is up, make sure you are on her level (on your knees or sit next to her). Explain what she did wrong, and how it made you feel. Make sure you give lots of hugs and kisses and encourage making good choices in the future.


Although it would be lovely if our children stopped here, but sometimes they don't. If they continue acting out.... then skip the warnings and back on the thinking step/chair/corner. If the bad behavior continues, off to bed!





Children will naturally test the boundaries. It's always going to happen. The most important thing is to remain calm, and as patient as you can be. If you find yourself getting angry, then the best thing is to remove yourself from the situation for a moment. Put a movie on if she'll watch it, and step out for a minute to collect yourself. It can be tough to get through the challenges, but it's worth it in the end. Your child will respect and honor you!
I was having the same problems with my son. I read a book called the No-Cry discipline method. I know when it comes to parenting you can't learn everything from a book or from other people for that matter, but this book really help a lot.


One tip from the book was to give count down warnings. When you are about to change what the child is doing you would say ';ok, 5 minutes until you have to put your toys away';, even though your daughter has limited concept of how long 5 minutes are she will at least know its coming. This really helped us.
You need a weekend off. You know just enough time to miss her and to give you a new account full of patience. We just had to move and the M.I.L. took the two year old for two nights, this was two weekends ago. I still have an overload of patience because I missed her sooo much!!! The reason I don't give you tips to help teach her to listen is because she is two, it is not going to happen!!! The only thing you can do is realize that you have to teach her as you go, that she is going to test the limits as far as they go, and get a break every now and again. It sounds like you are doing a great job though!
if she doesnt stopt tell her u wont talk to her and she will probably want u to tlk to her so tell her to stop and if she dont listen lock her in a room and tell her that when she starts behaving she will get out
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